Chocolate For Your Thoughts, Gummies For Your Dreams

One afternoon, on an apartment forage for chocolate, I hit the jackpot. Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans! They were amazing, delighting my taste buds with delicious chocolate polyphenals while giving my body the Jolt of caffeine it craved due to my (unsuccessful) efforts to cut back.

mmm...the taste of cliche 

My moment of joy and satisfaction reaped consequences later.  As I turned off my bedside lamp my heart was still geared up for a late night of television bingeing, all night reading, or maybe even the chance to paint the town. (Since I used the phrase "Paint the Town", it's pretty safe to bet how I usually spend my late nights.) 

Unfortunately, the next day, I needed to be awake at a decent hour. Of course, this thought sent my pulse racing, my brain stumbling into the depths of anxiety...yes, the alarm is still set...Why is it that the need of a good night's sleep increases anxiety-induced insomnia?

He makes it look so easy!!!
http://thenourishingsoul.com/

I tried channeling my thoughts and connecting them to deep breaths. This works momentarily, because as my body slows down, my brain speeds up.  Rather than drift to sleep, I contemplate my life choices and question their validity.  "Why did I delay doing laundry today?" "Why did I leave those dishes in the sink, overnight?" "I can't believe I ate ALL the Hummus!" "Should I get back into acting?" "What can I do to make myself a better person and contributor to society?" "Is New York the right place for me?" "Where will we live if we have children, how is Connecticut considered suburban NYC?" "Is there any chance I can squeeze in an extra beach trip before it gets too cold?"

Thank you SPF 50 & Beach Umbrellas!!!
Photo Courtesy of New Jersey

These are questions and answers I should be pursuing during daylight hours. (Particularly the one about laundry.) Yet, it is so easy to get distracted by life and television.  

Perfect is the enemy of Good!
Photo Courtesy of my iphone

To ease my brain, I tell myself, "So what if you're a little sleepy tomorrow, and the alarm goes off in the middle of a dream where my husband and I are taking swim lessons at my hometown pool." (I'm not really sure I want to know how my subconscious plays that one out.)  

Late at night, instead of deluging myself with questions and disappointments, I should trust myself that by taking things one day at a time, life will work itself out.  (Thank goodness for American Middle Class privilege!) That being said, I could really go for some chocolate, I think I still have some of those chocolate espresso beans left!